Monday, December 22, 2008

The TWILIGHT Zone

Oh, my dear Amy friend. I went to see my good friend a bit ago and she told me all about when she went to go see Twilight. I don't think that I have seen anyone get this excited about the Twilight movie. I mean, I saw the pre-sale ticket records set by frantic mothers and teenagers and saw the facebook status updates that said, "I just saw Twilight for the 8th time and am now MORE in luv with Edward than ever be4!" But this girl? She topped it all. She couldn't stop laughing the whole time she talked. "Jennica," she said,"you have to see it. And you have to take me with you. I want to watch you watch it." Now, that may seem a little creepy, but Amy and I have been friends for over 10 years and I knew that there was some serious fun in store. About a week later I was on my way to the theater. When we walked into the theater at 4 minutes to go time, the place was deserted. I was just saying, "Amy, the place is ours! We can talk and LAUGH as much as we want!", when a lady and her daughter came in and I quit talking midsentence. (Knowing full well what a Twilight fan might do to me just knowing that I was thinking about laughing at this movie) Anyway, the lady turns to us and says, "Oh, I know, it's too bad you're not alone in here. Now you can't go up and kiss the screen. I might still do it anway though, watch out!"

Thanks lady. Every crazy Twilight fan stereotype was just solidified in you. Wow.

Well, the movie was GREAT. Seriously, I don't think something has been this unintentionally entertaining since...since...well, maybe never. There is nothing like excessive brooding, angsty teenagers, too much breathing, stellar special effects and a bedazzler gone wrong to a make a quality film. I would go into more detail, but I fear mocking Twilight in print. However, if you haven't seen this movie, go see it - and take me with you. I want to watch you watch it.

Speaking of a Twilight Zone experience, I sure had one after the movie, when I got home. When I came home I was on the phone with my dear friend Erin. I was in the middle of saying, "So, you mean that I actually have to trust the Lord on this one?", when I looked up and saw two men who looked a great deal like policemen standing at the end of the hallway that leads to our apartment. They looked at me funny, but I figured that they were just amused by the very loud conversation I was having on the phone. I was a little apprehensive, but didn't think much of them as they didn't seem to think much of me. I put my key in the lock of our apartment and as I opened the door I was greeted by 5, count them, 5 U.S. Marshals decked out in full regalia.

Now, my first thought was, "That freak of nature came back and broke into our apartment and obviously did some serious damage as the entire SWAT team was called out and my roommates are most likely either dead or have been seriously violated." I am a bit embarrassed to admit that they way this concern was shown was by me taking in the scene and feeling sufficiently frightened and overwhelmed enough to let a out an, "Oh, *#@%." I am not exactly sure if the U.S. Marshals appreciated my display of verbal prowess. I am pretty sure however, that I did break the ice regarding whatever had been happening in my apartment prior to my entrance. After my stunning display of grace, the Marshals started making jokes. They were teasing about how I was the one that they had come looking for and something about an expired parking permit. I knew they were laughing, but I was still just a little confused about what they were all doing in my apartment. I tried my best to be witty, but sometimes even my abundant wit fails me under such pressure.

While they were joking I looked around and saw that both of my roommates were safe and sound. *relief!* Hali was flipping through the ward directory with one of the Marshals and Lindsay was laughing at me with the rest of the crew. As it turns out they had come looking for someone name Haley and I guess some bright person thought Hali was close enough and sent them to our door. I guess this Haley has some spurious friends who were the actual cause of this crazy visit. About 5 minutes before I arrived, the Marshals had knocked on the door and come in with guns drawn looking for Haley. They found that all we had was a Hali (not Haley), but they searched our entire apartment anyway, maybe for good measure? But, it was just another day at the 469. We were all good chums by the end of the visit and had it been just a few minutes longer, I am sure that we would have offered them all hot cocoa and cookies.

The female of the bunch left us with the following advice, "Well, keep those beds made. You never know who may stop by." She was right. You never know. And for the record, all of our beds were made.

Monday, December 8, 2008

FIRST PRIZE!

I won't lie. I love to win things. It may have something to do with the fact that I never win anything. Who knows? However, tonight was different! We made ginger bread (graham cracker) houses for FHE. Graham crackers are an interesting medium to work with and we all had to get a little creative to make things work. We ended up with a cottage, a trailer home, a tree house, the twin towers, and a crazy castle from a video game. Lindsay and I teamed up to create our masterpiece and lucky for us, the evening ended with a little friendly competition. One of the boys was eager to win the night, so he went out and found three impartial judges. By impartial I mean that he grabbed some random people out of our complex. And guess what, folks?! Two of three voted for US! WE were the winners of the night. I won!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Happy December!

So today, it feels like Christmas. Even though the sun is shinning brightly and there is no snow, the world at large is still blessing us with cheer. My cheer today came in two ways:

1. Val brought The Muppet Christmas Carol soundtrack to the office. We may have spent the better part of the morning listening to it (and perhaps singing along).
2. Grammy Noms are out!

To celebrate this wondrous occasion I would like to list my picks for some of this year's winners. I purposely left out categories like "Best Rock or Rap Gospel Album", "Best Polka Album", or "Best Chamber Album". Please find it in your heart to forgive me.

My votes for the 51st Grammy Awards:

Record Of The Year
(Award to the Artist and to the Producer(s), Recording Engineer(s) and/or Mixer(s), if other than the artist.)

  • Chasing Pavements
    Adele
  • Viva La Vida
    Coldplay
    I wish I could vote for Adele here, but Coldplay has it in the bag.
  • Bleeding Love
    Leona Lewis

  • Paper Planes
    M.I.A

  • Please Read The Letter
    Robert Plant & Alison Krauss


Album Of The Year
(Award to the Artist(s) and to the Album Producer(s), Recording Engineer(s)/Mixer(s) & Mastering Engineer(s), if other than the artist.)

  • Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends
    Coldplay

  • Tha Carter III
    Lil Wayne

  • Year Of The Gentleman
    Ne-Yo

  • Raising Sand
    Robert Plant & Alison Krauss

  • In Rainbows
    Radiohead
    Seriously? These guys were a powerhouse this year. Who else could release a record and let fans pay whatever they wanted for it? Don't even mess with Radiohead.

Song Of The Year
(A Songwriter(s) Award. A song is eligible if it was first released or if it first achieved prominence during the Eligibility Year. (Artist names appear in parentheses.) Singles or Tracks only.)

  • American Boy
    William Adams, Keith Harris, Josh Lopez, Caleb Speir, John Stephens, Estelle Swaray & Kanye West, songwriters (Estelle Featuring Kanye West)

  • Chasing Pavements
    Adele Adkins & Eg White, songwriters (Adele)

  • I'm Yours
    Jason Mraz, songwriter (Jason Mraz)
This song is currently my ringtone. I would love to have a Grammy Award winning ringtone. Go Jason!
  • Love Song
    Sara Bareilles, songwriter (Sara Bareilles)


  • Viva La Vida
    Guy Berryman, Jonny Buckland, Will Champion & Chris Martin, songwriters (Coldplay)

Best New Artist
(For a new artist who releases, during the Eligibility Year, the first recording which establishes the public identity of that artist.)

  • Adele
    I have been an Adele fan since she was just a free download of the week on itunes. and I TOTALLY back her up on the win for best new artisit!

  • Duffy

  • Jonas Brothers

  • Lady Antebellum

  • Jazmine Sullivan

Best Female Pop Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)

  • Chasing Pavements
    Adele

  • Love Song
    Sara Bareilles

  • Mercy
    Duffy

  • Bleeding Love
  • Leona Lewis
This one is for Hali. BTW, props to the British lady invasion this year.
  • I Kissed A Girl
    Katy Perry

  • So What
    Pink

Best Male Pop Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)

  • All Summer Long
    Kid Rock

  • Say
    John Mayer


  • That Was Me
    Paul McCartney

  • I'm Yours
  • Jason Mraz
Go ringtone!
  • Closer
    Ne-Yo


  • Wichita Lineman
    James Taylor

Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals
(For established duos or groups, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.)

  • Viva La Vida
    Coldplay

  • Waiting In The Weeds
    Eagles

  • Going On
    Gnarls Barkley

  • Won't Go Home Without You
    Maroon 5

  • Apologize
    OneRepublic

    This one is for Leilani.

Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals
(For a collaborative performance, with vocals, by artists who do not normally perform together. Singles or Tracks only.)

  • Lesson Learned
    Alicia Keys & John Mayer


  • 4 Minutes
    Madonna, Justin Timberlake & Timbaland
    They get the grammy just for being who they are. He brought sexy back and she is 50. Nuff said.
  • Rich Woman
    Robert Plant & Alison Krauss

  • If I Never See Your Face Again
    Rihanna & Maroon 5

  • No Air
    Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I am thankful for:

Blogging, because it passes the time...
Lindsay, who will watch ANTM with me.
Hali, who makes me laugh late at night.
Art, because it speaks to me.
David Bowie, just because.
Erin Cotten, who makes Logan a worthwhile place to visit.
My job, for supporting my wild lifestyle.
My apartment, even though it is Fort Knox.
Sephora, for inspiration.
My calling, for restoring perspective.
Internet TV, for keeping me up to date and entertained.
Chuck and Sarah, Ned and Chuck, and Pam and Jim, for giving me hope.
My family, (Chariots of Fire theme) Commitment John, commitment!
My freak of nature dating week, for reminding me that I am not a freak of nature.
Leilani, who loves me enough to send me art.
Val, who kills me at Mario Kart.
Travel, for keeping things interesting.
My camera, because it lets the world see how I see the world.
Macaroni and Cheese, you know why.
The gym, for always being there for me, even though I neglect it so.
IKEA, for giving me an outlet when I am stressed and providing me with cheap Swedish goods.
The beach, for connecting me with who I really am and what really matters.
Vanessa, for Rock Band and Guitar Hero (and covert operations!)
Ari, for keeping me well advised.
Unlimited text and the people who text me.
Skinny jeans, because I never thought they would work, but they do.
Music, because it fuels me.
My guitar, for making me feel like a super star. Thanks guitar!
Mervyns, because it is going out of business.
Homemade Oreos, Hali's Homemade Oreos (to be specific).
The cold, because it gives me a reason to bundle up and drink hot chocoalte.
Books, because they make me smart.
National Holidays, for giving me a break and a reason to celebrate!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

SURPRISE!



I got my hair did! It was a little bit of an impulsive day. I had just gotten back from California, and I had watched too much ANTM. I needed a new look. My palerie Valerie had gone to see Quantum of Solace last week and told me that I looked a great deal like Agent Strawberry Fields. Done and done. New hair.




Wednesday, November 12, 2008

It could always be worse... Part II

And just when I was starting to feel sorry for myself:



Amy Winehouse goes for a stroll Tuesday after visiting her local pub in London. The singer received some good news recently: Her husband Blake Fielder-Civil was released from jail and checked into rehab.

Train wreck.

'Nuff said.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween from Salem!

Happy Halloween from Sleepy Hollow!

Happy Halloween from Count Orlok's Castle!

Happy Halloween from Orem!

Happy Halloween from Boston!

I lead a very difficult life. After traveling to exotic Delta, Beaver and Richfield, Utah last week, I headed off to Boston for the NODAC 2008 Conference.

As it was Halloween while I was there, I figured that I had best celebrate in style. I took the train to Salem with several hundred of my closest, crazy, costumed friends. Salem was WALL to WALL with ghoulish ghosties out to celebrate this haunted holiday with the witches.


While in Salem I visited the Salem Witch Museum, the House of Seven Gables and the Salem Witch Memorial. They even had fireworks to finish up the night. There were some crazy costumes. Jedis walking around with Darth Vader and Darth Maul, Beaker from the muppets, Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovitt. My favorite was Batman, the best part was that his kids were dressed at Robin and Cat Woman.


Also, to celebrate the season, I went on a completely ridiculous, but rather amusing, Ghosts and Graveyards tour. I learned several things:

1. All ghosts in Boston have Cockney accents.

2. In colonial Boston they buried people on top of each other, sometimes 10 coffins deep.

3. Bostonian ghosts also really like to hit on girls. See example below. ALSO the trolley driver offered to show me around the city. Wow, it is just too bad that I had a conference to go to.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

I Honestly Love You

The title of the blog will make sense later. The questions below are some that we often may wonder, but what better way to answer them then with music. A friend of mine posted this on her blog and demanded that I do it to. Thanks Lindz, this provided some much needed amusement in Delta.

Here are the Rules-
1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, MP3 Player, or whatever on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.

If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say?
"Hello" David Cook

How would you describe yourself?
"Any Day Now" Missy Higgins (anyone read Leo the Late Bloomer?)

What do you like in a guy/girl?
"Home of the Blues" Johnny Cash (hmm, ok)

How do you feel today?
"Golden Girl" Dan Wilson (today and EVERYDAY)

What is your life’s purpose?
"Carmel Apple Eating Contest" Jack Christianson (this thing knows me too well)

What is your motto?
"The Fear You Won't Fall" Joshua Radin (and how!)
What do your friends think of you?

What do you think of your parents?
"I Don't Wanna Live Without Your Love" Chicago

What do you think about very often?
"How Great Thou Art" MOTAB

What is 2 + 2?
"Ganges A Go-Go" Bombay the Hard Way

What do you think of your best friend?
"It's Over Now" Colm Wilkinson (how tragic)

What do you think of the person you like?
"Too Soon" eastmountainsouth (bad timing?)

What is your life story?
"A Very Nice Prince" Into the Woods

What do you want to be when you grow up?
"The Last Dance" Frank Sinatra

What do you think of when you see the person you like?
"The Rain Rain Rain Came Down Down Down" Winnie the Pooh

What will you dance to at your wedding?
"Be Be Your Love" Rachael Yamagata

What will they play at your funeral?
"Hotel Song" Regina Spektor (it will be quite the funeral)

What is your hobby/interest?
"You and I Both" Jason Mraz (yes please)

What is your biggest fear?
"Alone" Ben Harper

What is your biggest secret?
"Clarity" John Mayer (cause really i just seem unclear?)

What do you think of your friends?
"Never Let Go" Josh Groban (really, don't. i mean that)

What will you post this as?
"I Honestly Love You" Olivia Newton-John (PERFECT!)

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Happiest Fall Break On Earth


The Happiest Fall Break on Earth started a week ago Wednesday. We left work just before noon and after 9 hours in the car,4 In N Out cheeseburgers, and 1 presidential debate, we pulled into Costa Mesa. We rolled down the car windows and took in the fresh, ocean-kissed, California air. With a beginning like this, the vacation was destined to be a success.

The next morning we woke early and headed for the Happiest Place on Earth. We parked in the Pinocchio lot and walked past a plethora of vans and SUVs that had also made the trip from Utah. In case you were wondering, UEA stands for Utahans Enter Anaheim. Our excitement mounted as we boarded the tram that took us toward Disneyland at a thrilling 14 miles an hour.

We got inside about 15 minutes before rope drop, and let me tell you friends, the second that rope dropped, the magic began. I am serious about the magic part. Somehow, whenever I am there everything falls into place. Magic happens.

Within the first 3 hours we were there we had ridden every ride in Critter Country, New Orleans Square, Adventureland and Frontierland. We got a VIP reservation at the Blue Bayou (when it was already booked for the next three days) AND we met Jack Sparrow!


The most magical moment for me was running into an old friend. Eight years ago my sister and I were at Disneyland celebrating her graduation from college and my graduation from high school. One day we went to Fantasyland and rode the tea cups, while we were there we thought it would be fun to get our picture in the Mad Hatter's hut. To achieve our goals we decided to get our picture taken with the ride operator. He was really nice and our picture turned out adorable. The ride operator's name was Rigo. We got a kick out of that. The next day, our brother went of to get some food and my sister and I embraced our freedom and ran over to Fantasyland (somehow it wasn't my 23 year old brother's favorite spot) Anyway, the park was slow that day and my sister and I were on our own. We could do whatever we wanted!! We went on the Snow White ride and the ride operator was Rigo! When we came out there was no one waiting to get on so we asked Rigo if we could go again. He sent us through 7 or 8 times in a row and we loved it every time. Being the geeks that we are, we shouted "Hooray for Rigo and hooray for the Snow White ride!" when we came out. A good time was had by all. At some point Rigo explained to us that his real name was not Rigo. It was actually Mickey, but - as it was the same name as a certain mouse - he had a different name on his name tag. We were all fast friends by the end of the morning.


My sister and I still laugh about that day and I think of it every time I go on the Snow White ride. Well, On our second day at the park Hali and I went to ride the Snow White ride and the ride operator looked extremely familiar. I glanced at his name tag and saw that it said "Mickey". "What is your last name?" I asked him. He looked at me and sardonically replied, "Mouse." I am sure that he thought I was just some cheeky guest making fun of his name. "No, seriously, what is your last name? I think I know you." It was Rigo. He said he remembered us, I seriously doubt that, but it was amazing that eight years later, on the same ride, I ran into my most favorite ride operator ever.

Thanks Mickey, for a very unexpected surprise!



Of course, Disney magic wasn't the only magic we experienced on the trip. Saturday night Hali and I headed up to Hollywood to see Wicked. It was my second time seeing the show and I loved it just as much, if not more than last time. P.S. Hollywood is everything fame and fortune are. When professionally displayed, it is all glitz and glamor, but when you are there and you see how it really is, it is one massive train wreck. Nevertheless, we enjoyed our evening. Besides the show, my favorite moment was when we were walking to find some food and passed a group of people that included a couple of guys that were conversing by freestyle rapping. It is moments like that when I truly treasure my life.


No trip to California would be complete without a trip to the beach and a teeny, tiny sunburn. And you know, the amazing thing is, after 3 days of adventure and 18 hours int he car - I still love my workmates. What luck. Oh, and it is possible that I got an annual pass to Disneyland. Anyone want to go back?

It could always be worse...

Feeling blue? Thinking that no one could be worse off than you? Well, read on my friend, and (unless you are actually one of the people mentioned below) give yourself a pat on the back for not being cited in The Daily Universe Police Beat.

The first entry is the WINNER. Yup, winner, winner chicken dinner. I hope she never lives this one down:

"A female resident of Wymount Terrace called in a suspicious phone call in which a man made statements with the intent of hypnotizing the student. The student said she does not remember most of the conversation, but remembers she called him her master. Police say it is virtually impossible to hypnotize someone over the phone."

Maybe I will try to hypnotize you over my blog.

Do you feel prone to do my bidding?? Do you want to call me master??

The rest are bonus. Happy reading.

Sept. 30: Female students in Helaman Halls complained about a man in a gorilla suit attempting to scare students near the Cannon Center. When police arrived, there was no sign of either the complainant or the gorilla. Students complained again early Oct. 3 about a man in a gorilla mask. The gorilla has not yet been identified.

Oct. 8: Police received a call reporting a masked female near the Harris Fine Arts Center who was scaring individuals.

Oct. 9: A BYU Bookstore employee reported a male student who stole a 50-cent candy bar. Police issued a misdemeanor citation for retail theft.

Oct. 11: A person riding a motor scooter hit a female student in the crosswalk at 450 East and 1430 North. She was on her way to the football game. The student was checked by the paramedics at the scene and released.

Oct. 11: A 27-year-old former BYU student was causing a disturbance at the football game by spitting on people. He was arrested and escorted from the stadium after refusing to comply with police orders, detained and released, but banned from the university for 72 hours. No charges were found.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

The Disney Place


2 days left. It has been two years since I have been to Disneyland, and the gap is closing ever so quickly. In 2 teeny, tiny little days I will be standing at the gates of the Magic Kingdom. The paper count down chain that has been up in our office since the end of June has come to an end.

Now, some of you may be asking, 2 years Jennica? Really? And I will reply to you both yes AND no. I have actually been to Disneyworld and Disney Paris this year, but does that really count? As much as I love Disney anywhere in the world, it is only truly home in Anaheim. Every place holds it's own charm, but I am a purist. Disneyland gets extra magic points because, not only was it the beginning for the Disney theme park conglomerate, but it was also the beginning for me.

The first time I went to Disneyland I was about 5 years old. We went on a special trip, just me, my older sister and my parents. We left the boys and the baby behind and we headed down south. After 7 hours or so in our big, orange, Chrysler New Yorker, we reached Disneyland. And that was where it began, and thankfully, still continues.

So, here are some highlights of my life at Disneyland:

When I went the first time we got Mickey Mouse ears and then got the mouse ears pierced with Minnie Mouse earrings.

5 fabulous days when my older sister graduated high school. It was our first official family vacation since we had moved to Utah 4 years prior. My best friend from California just happened to be there as well.

A magical trip with my father when I was 17. It was the first time I had seen him in 7 years. It was also my first time staying in the Disneyland Hotel and my first time eating sushi AND the first time I had an annual pass.

Living in the car for a week with my older sister and brother to celebrate my high school graduation, my sister's college graduation and for my brother to get lasik in Hollywood. We enjoyed sneaking into the Disneyland Hotel pool to "shower".

Sitting on the balcony of the Disney Art Gallery to watch Fantasmic!

Having an annual pass and being able to go to the Disney California Adventure park before it opened.

Having single rider passes on that same trip and bypassing the Soarin' line that was 3 hours long. As we walked past the line one if the kids exclaimed, "Wow, they must know Walt Disney!"

Being in the Disneyland parade over and over again!

Taking Disneyland by storm with the Dorsey girls a week before my mission and dancing with the Disney characters at our FOREVER long lunch.

Standing under the castle every time I go and listening to Jiminy Cricket sing "When You Wish Upon a Star" and knowing that dreams really can come true.

Second star to the right and straight on till morning. I'll be there soon!

Friday, October 10, 2008

I Would Like to Thank the Little People...

I Love Your Blog Award

Courtesy of Hali...

1. Where is your cell phone? Purse
2. Where is your significant other? Waiting
3. Your hair color? Red
4. Your mother? MOVING!
5. Your father? MIA
6. Your favorite thing? Music
7. Your dream last night? Work
8. Your dream/goal? Family
9. The room you're in? Apartment
10. Your hobby? Creativity
11. Your fear? Grief
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Coast
13. Where were you last night? Sleepy Hollow
14. What you're not? Finished
15. One of your wish-list items? Lover
16. Where you grew up? Home
17. The last thing you ate? icecream
18. What are you wearing? Clothes
19. Your TV? off
20.Your pet? NONE!
21. Your computer? on
22. Your mood? Content
23. Missing someone? Sure
24. Your car? Sammy
25. Something you're not wearing? Burka
26. Favorite store? GAP
27. Your summer? Thrilling
28. Love someone? Waiting
29. Your favorite color? Blue
30. When is the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? KLONOPIN

I award the following people with the "I love your blog award" and in so doing tag them to complete the above questions with one word answers.
Ari, Erin, Whit, Lindsay, Heather. The End.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Cure for the Common Cold



There may not be a cure for the common cold, but I am bound and determined to beat this illness down. I am taking matters into my own hands. With some orange juice and some orange dayquil I had better be better soon. If not, I am suing dayquil and every orange grove form California to Florida. This is all I have consumed today. I am not sure if that is a good thing, but that doesn't really matter.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

The Chicken Lady

The other night I was chatting with my good friend Erin about the deplorable state of the dating world. This week for FHE, our ward did speed dating. They said we were doing it because on Sunday the Bishop said that if guys aren't going on "x" amounts of dates, they should repent. I am pretty sure FHE was a mass repenting session.

Anyway, at the end of the night I decided that it was good to make new friends, but maybe I should just settle in and get comfortable with my currently single status.

Maybe I could get a cat and be one of those crazy cat ladies.

I said to Erin, "Maybe I will go to the Walmart parking lot and get a free kitten."

"A Chicken?"

"No, a KITTEN! Why would I get a free chicken?"

Such was the birth of the Chicken Lady.














I could just buy a chicken (or maybe stealing one would be more appropriate?). Ok, I could acquire a chicken and it would become my constant companion. It would follow me everywhere I went, but we would never leave the house. It would sleep in my bed, on a pillow, right next to me. And my chicken would cluck encouragingly when I was feeling down. A Chicken Lady can always trust her chicken to cheer her up. Oh, and my chicken would protect me if anyone tried to trespass on my property. Can you think of anything more intimidating than a crazed chicken coming at you, feathers flying everywhere?


It is just a good idea. I give myself 10 more years, then I am buying a chicken.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I'm With The Band

I went to two different concerts in August. Interestingly enough, they were both at the same venue and both headlined guys named Joshua. The universe turned out to be even more interesting when one of those Joshua guys came and played a concert at UVU during welcome week. 3 Joshua concerts.

At this point you may be thinking, "My, what a lucky girl Jennica is. So many Joshuas in such a short amount of time." I would agree with you, but I would say that it is not the Joshuas that make me lucky. It is their bassists.

Somehow, I have some kind of crazy connection with the bassists for both Joshuas. Please see exhibits A and B below:

exhibit A:

This is me being very buddy buddy with Joshua Radin's bassist














exhibit B:

This is Joshua James' bassist being very buddy buddy with me!

Seriously, I was taking pictures of the even for our office and the bassist kept looking at the camera. I would say that he just liked getting his picture taken, but check out the look on his face. Like I said - buddy buddy.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Letters

To my Native American Lit. Teacher:

Dear Native American Lit. Teacher,

I know that we don't know each other well, but I have something very personal that I need to tell you. Wearing a bra is a good thing. There. I said it. On the first day of class I heard very little of what you said. There was something about a syllabus, something about NDNZ and something about how, after years of educational torture, you would prefer to be addressed by the name you had earned: Doctor. However, most of the time I was staring at your chest. Now, being a girl, it is hard to admit this, but it is the honest truth. I was staring at your chest and thinking, "Are those...no, they can't be...is she...honestly?...nope, my teacher is definitely not wearing a bra."

Now, I would like to say that I am very impressed with you for getting your education and breaking the bonds of masculine suppression, but a bra is not meant to suppress. It is meant to support. A bra should be a best friend, not an undesirable stranger.

I understand that things may have been different 30 or 40 years ago when bra burning was a big thing. I see that you made (and are still making)your statement, "Girl Power! Votes for Women!" I am sure the Spice Girls would be proud. But that was 30 or 40 years go, the statement has been made and the point has become moot. This generation does not look at braless women and think, "Wow, she is a real revolutionary." They are thinking, "Holy crap, I can see her nipples." So, please, for our sake, share your story and teach your ideals, but spare us, and buy a bra.

Thank you,

A concerned student

To the boy who works in the bookstore:

Dear Boy Who Works at the Bookstore,

Hey, what's up? It's been a while. We had Spanish together, what, like 3 years ago? Crazy. Well, it's good to see you again. You know, it's funny, we see each other a couple of times every 6 months or so and we act like we are the best of friends. Maybe we should just humor fate and be real friends. No more acting like friends. Then we don't have to run into randomly run into each other anymore, we can purposely run into each other. Yes?

Tu amiga,

Jennica

To the man who killed chivalry:

Dear Sir,

How does it feel? Seriously, can you sleep at night, knowing that you singlehandedly killed chivalry? Today I was lifting some boxes that were much too heavy for me to lift. You were sitting about 15 feet away while I was lifting these heavy boxes. They were so heavy in fact, that I thought I would drop it on my head and it would squish me like a cartoon character and I would have to walk around for the rest of my life as a smashed little disk of Jennica. This was not a pleasant thought. I was with two of my co-workers who are also female(one of whom is smaller than the boxes that we were lifting)and we were obviously having difficulty. Yet, there you sat. As I laughed with my co-workers about the absurdity of the situation I thought about you sitting just around the corner. What were you thinking? Were you thinking, "Too bad those girls aren't very strong?" or "I'm sure glad it isn't my job to help people." or maybe you just thought it was amusing. Either way friend, the proper response would have been, "Excuse me, you seem to be having a bit of trouble lifting those boxes that weigh twice as much as you do. May I be of assistance?" At this point we all would have lauded your strength and manhood. Really, we would have. Instead we just stared at you as we left, wondering what was going through your head. I mean, maybe it was a bit harsh when I said that you killed chivalry, but what is this world coming to?

I eagerly await your response,

A damsel in distress who fights her own dragons because there are no knights to be found, and just because she can, and she can.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Creativity - as defined by me for my brand spankin' new Creative Writing class

Creativity - Creation - Creator

Creativity is something that is manufactured on an individual, physiological basis. It is a force that is conceived and cultivated deep within our selves. It bubbles within us, waiting to take form, driving us to create. If creativity is not cultivated it will go into remission. It must have an outlet to thrive. It may be inspired by imitation but, because no two people are alike, individual creations will have inherent differences. I believe we are all have the capacity to be creators, if we will allow it.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

To be, or not to be?


School is starting again and the halls are filling with bright-eyed students. They are buying books, getting ID cards and standing in long lines that they could have bypassed if they had stopped by a week ago. I won't lie, it shocks me every Fall when the students come back. It's like somehow the slow summer months and empty halls cause me to forget that, as a university, our primary goal is to educate students. But every fall they return, and the familiar "back-to-school energy" hangs tangibly in the air. This year I am starting to feel envious of the kids with their new backpacks, pens and notebooks. So, I have decided that this semester I am going to take advantage of the free tuition benefits that I receive as an employee of Utah Valley University and sign up for a class as a super-super senior. I signed up for a creative writing class. It is something that I would have loved to do the first time around in school, but I never really took the time. Also, my dear friend Erin keeps insisting that I write a memoir, maybe this will help. I figure that if nothing else, perhaps I will be able to write a more amusing blog entry by the end of the semester.

However, this one little class has gotten me thinking. When I was trying to decide what to study in college my choices came down to Psychology and English. I am no good at grammar, so Psychology won out. But now, I am not so afraid of grammar and I have a chance to go back. So dear friends, here is the question: To be, or not to be? Do I gather my courage and go back for another Bachelors degree? I am afraid that a Bachelors in English would be about as profitable as a Bachelors in Psychology, but I would be chasing a dream. I think it may be worth it just for that.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Lessons in Hope

First things first, I don't know if anyone looks at this blog anymore because it hasn't been updated since the dawn of time. For that, I apologize. My excuse? Life has been crazy. Honestly, there is no other way to describe it. Oh, and I moved(part of the afore mentioned "crazy") and we don't have the internet at our apartment yet, making it more than a little difficult to blog with any kind of constancy. Hopefully we will soon be able to join modern civilization and get ourselves on-line.

On to the matter at hand, with a new apartment comes a new ward. I think that many of you are familiar with my ward, it was featured in the movie "The Singles Ward." I don't know how else to describe what happened recently at church other than to say that I was, for 3 hours, transported out of reality and into a Singles Ward Twilight Zone.

First, in Relief Society our teacher shared with us her desperation to get married(next month)and to start her family so that she can help to build Zion. She talked about how difficult it is for all of us to wait, wait, wait to get married and start families and how frustrating it can be to not yet be able to assist in building Zion. We need to patient, like the early pioneers were patient. Apparently we are all worthless in the church until the happy day arrives that we find our "other half"; the half that allows us to begin to lend a hand to build the kingdom. Our poor relief society president tried to regulate, but this sweet spirit was determined to express her sympathy to the rest of us single souls.

Fate could not have been paired with circumstance more perfectly than it was at the end of the lesson. Our RSP got up and announced that the Bishop had ordered a copy of the August Ensign for each member of the ward. Single and Steadfast: Lessons in Hope. I almost died. Lessons in hope? For every member of the ward?

Now, I am grateful to the Bishop. I mean we are all single, so why not get us a copy of the Special Singles Edition of the Ensign? I guess it is like when your kid is in the paper and you buy up every copy you can find. It was a nice gesture. However, I, like many other singles that I know, resent the implication that I need lessons in hope! Contrary to an obviously popular belief, I am sure that I can be a worthwhile citizen in my community and in the kingdom of God whether I am married or sans eternal companion. I have been rather productive for the last 26 years, I graduated high school, college, served a mission, served in church callings, and I did it all by my very own single self.

So, I guess what I would like to say is, thanks but no thanks. I am not like the examples of the 29 year old prone to depression or the 26 year old who wonders if he is marriage material. I don't cry every night that prince charming hasn't come to snatch me up and I don't resent his absence. I am in no way handicapped because I am single. I can still contribute, I still have a testimony and I don't need to be told that everything will work out. Maybe it won't. I am ok with that. I know who I am and I know God's plan. I trust in His timing and I will do my best to work on myself and serve those around me until the blessed day arrives and prince charming does sweep me off me feet. But you know what I am going to do when that day arrives? I am going to continue to go to church, work on myself and serve those around me. So maybe we can save our sympathy and condolences for those who are facing real tragedies.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Grow-A-Boyfriend!



I came to work for Prospective Student Services 3 years ago. When I came there was a "Grow-a-Boyfriend" attached to my boss's mailbox. We laughed about it once or twice and it was not until last week that someone actually proposed that we grow the Grow-a-Boyfriend.

As you can tell, the glass jar that we grew him in proved to be restricting for our little fake fellow. Our Grow-a-Boyfriend wanted to grow and he could not do that within the confines of this Best Western candy jar.

So, being the clever things that we are, it was decided that instead of finding a larger container, we would simply dismember the Grow-a-Boyfriend to make more room for him to grow.

Just in case you can't tell, summer is a very slow time for us. Perhaps these are the effects of the office equivalent of cabin fever.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Old School

Ah, the wonders of modern technology. A little while ago I ended up connecting with an old friend on Facebook. Five years ago Eliza moved to London with nothing but her guitar and a credit card. She played in the tube stations, met the love of her life and is now playing gigs in London and, last night, in Salt Lake City.

I went up with my friend Erin and we got to the Nobrow Coffee Shop just as the first set was ending. The first performer was also named Eliza Wren. What are the chances of that?

The place got crowded pretty quickly, there was another act before Eliza and Erin hadn't had anything to eat, so we went out to explore the area. We found Sicilia Pizza on 300 S and we loved it. I think what we loved the most was that the girl behind the counter hardly spoke any English at all. We felt like we were back in Italy. We finished our pizza just in time to head back over to Nobrow and hear Eliza.

On the way back we passed a little hole-in-the-wall venue that had some seriously angry music blaring from the open door. The name of the band was painted on the window and it was seriously offensive. I was doing a double take to see if someone had seriously written that on a public window when a policeman on a bike who was stopped on the same corner as we were told us not to look.

I guess chivalry is not dead. I love that he tried to protect us from that garbage.

Anyway, Eliza was great. She is so incredibly talented. She makes everything seem so effortless. She is talented in a way that when you watch her you know it would take more effort that you could ever imagine to even try to be anything like her, and yet she is herself with such grace. As I watched her I kept thinking about how Eliza was living the dream. She had thrown everything that was superfluous to her dreams to the side and had embraced everything she loved the most. I don't know if I could ever be that brave. I think I will just keep being brave in my own way and loving those who are maybe a little more brave.

After the show there was a brief and mildly awkward high school reunion and then we snuck out. It was too hot, but in the end, it was a lovely evening.

You can check Eliza's music out at http://www.elizawrenpayne.com

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Breaking the Sabbath

Sunday afternoon I got a call from my good friend Vanessa inviting me to a potluck at her house. An invitation to a potluck on Fast Sunday? Who can say no to that? We ended up ditching the potluck and eating potstickers. When the party had died down we went to go see our good friend Adi. Pretty sure we interrupted his Sunday nap. While we were waiting for Adi to come up Vanessa grabbed a mini bag of M&Ms and started sorting them by color. I couldn't resist grabbing a bag and doing the same. Soon all the bags of M&Ms were open and sorted. We made a beach scene, complete with a red umbrella and a Hersey bar Marriott Hotel.

Speaking of Hersey bars, while building our hotel we had a brilliant idea. The idea was s'mores. Hersey bars are basically worthless unless they have graham crackers and marshmallows. We emptied the candy bowl and headed to Vanessa's to help them realize their full potential. As we were walking to my car we saw a tow truck that was getting ready to tow some poor sucker's car away.

"Is that your car?"

"No way, I am totally parked 100% legally. Or not."

The tow truck was backing up to MY car. I had innocently parked on the curb and now my car was about to be towed. As I ran up to the tow truck he was about 5 inches away from my back tires. I pleaded with him to let me go, we had just run in to get our friend. He looked at me, shrugged, and drove off.

I stood on the curb with my illegally parked car, heart pounding, not believing what had just happened. Not believing that he just let me go. I now love s'mores even more than I did before. Saved by a s'more. Who'd have thunk?

Needless to say, (but important to show) this little miracle of the tow truck and the s'mores made me very happy.

Monday, June 30, 2008

ART!



Last year I went to the Utah Arts Festival with my dear friend Erin Cotten. We became instant fans and decided that we must attend every year. So, last Saturday, armed with sunscreen, sodas, and an insatiable thirst for art, we descended upon Library Square.

It was approximately 168 degrees at the festival. We wandered endless booths of paintings, drawings, photography, graffiti-art, mixed-media, collage, oragami and more. The Arts Festival is always a strange mix of awe and inspiration for me. A part of me wishes I had the talent that these artists have and another part of me starts itching to create. Maybe I could have the talent these artists have?

We watched 30 little kids play Turkey in the Straw on their pint-sized violins and we saw Flamenco dancers who danced with the fury of a thousand suns. (Speaking of the sun; the only relief that we had from the heat was wading through the library fountain in our flip-flops surrounded by timid children dipping their toes in the water and banshee children climbing the wet cement walls unattended. It was actually one of my favorite parts of the day.) We watched our beloved Poetry Slam and finished up the night watching Samba Fogo, a capoiera/Brazilian fire dance team that was PHEONMENAL.

The only downside to the Samba Fogo performance was the drunk guy next to me who was furious that people were sitting on the stairs and standing in the aisles at a free public outdoor event. Even though it made it very awkward to be standing next to him, it would have been more awkward if I was his girlfriend. Note to self: Don't go out with guys who get drunk at family friendly events and complain very loudly that there are too many people and he can't get to the f*@$ing bathroom.

Overall the event was fabulous. We saw great art, got some good sun AND we got to see our least favorite poet in the entire world get thrown off the stage for inappropriate content. YES! It was a perfect ending to a perfect day.





Thursday, June 26, 2008

Things That Should Not Make Me Happy - But Do

At 11:30am this morning I realized that it was 11:30am and not 5:00pm. This is a terrible thing to realize when you are at work. However, never fear! To the rescue came the ridiculous institution that is pop-culture news. Here are some of the treasures that entertained me today:
Jesus spotted in ultrasound image?
Jesus spotted in ultrasound image?


I think that speaks for itself. I must add, however, that I did suggest to my co-workers that we visit The Holy Land Experience while in Orlando. I don't know why that didn't take.

This next photo will most likely speak for itself as well:



NKOTB are BACK - AND their official photo stream is through flickr. This is quality business folks. They must be taken seriously. Please enjoy the NKOTB goodness.

Friday, June 20, 2008

People's Hottest Bachelors of 2008



This year People magazine published a pretty tasty list of Hollywood's Hottest Bachelors. Gracing the list were, of course, veteran Hotties George Clooney and Gerard Butler. There were also several lovely film and television stars, rock stars, comedians, a resurrected teen actor (Mario Lopez), and an interesting surprise:

In the wake of his sisters' domination of the pop-culture world (one being a tragic train-wreck of a pop princess and the other a poster-child for teen pregnancy) Bryan Spears must have been feeling left out. The television producer(of his baby sister's show)has been laying low as the unpublicized eldest sibling of the Spears family.

Well, he is unnoticed no longer. However, his presence on this list causes my mind to wander in two ways. The first: Although not too terrible to look at, does Brian really deserve a place amongst Hollywood's most desirable? There are a lot of good looking, talented, successful single men out there and, let me tell you friends, I am just not convinced by Bryan's less than impressive resume and photo. In the picture the dog is more prominent than he his, he is too far back for you to see his face and his body is obscured by his wet, baggy clothing. Maybe he has a sweet spirit. I don't know?

The second way my mind wanders is to the validity and popularity of the institution of marriage. In thinking of a replacement for Mr. Spears my mind instantly thinks of my favorite Hollywood hunk, Christian Bale. Only one problem there, he is married. So, maybe all of the good ones were taken? As it is, I am glad that there are so many of Hollywood's finest that are seeing fit to try their hand at commitment. Bryan, I am sure you do have a sweet spirit and as you are apparently one of the only ones left out there, I wish you the very best of luck.

In closing, recent American Idol winner David Cook also made the list. I publish this picture to say that if I wanted melt into a puddle of school-girl residue when I looked at Bryan Spears picture, I never would have written this. Congratulations go to David for not making me question for a moment why he made the list.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

My New Bici!



In wake of gas prices rising faster than my heart rate did when that beautiful European man walked in for a tour today, I recently decided to seek out alternate means of transportation. I found my new bike at the Bike Peddler in American Fork. (I have a great affinity towards small businesses in my hometown) When I walked in the store I realized that I had no idea about how to find the right bike for me. So, I put myself into the hands of a very capable shop employee. The first thing he asked me was how tall I was. Next he asked if I had finished growing. I looked at him like he was maybe just a little bit nuts. He asked my age. "26, I replied. And yes, I have finished growing." He told me I didn't look 26. Apparently I would be a great candidate for that "10 Years Younger" show and I wouldn't even need the makeover.
Thankfully, the man knew more about bikes than the growing habits of females. Not long after this I realized that I haven't been on a bike in probably 5 or 6 years. It was brought to my attention when I was invited to test drive several styles of bike before buying. It was with palpable trepidation that I mounted the bike and rode off to circle the block with less than my normal confidence and flair. Soon, however, I was gliding with ease and completely sold on the idea of a new bike. I came home with a Specialized Myka Sport. It is my new love. What can I say? I am a fickle lover. I am now an avid and dedicated cyclist, 1 week and counting.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Corny Jokes

Sometimes, bad jokes stick with you. For example:

What is brown and sticky?

A stick.

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?

A pouch potato.

And recently:

What is green and fuzzy, has four legs and will smash you if it falls out of a tree and lands on you?

That's right folks:

A pool table.

It's ok, you can laugh. It is one of the worst jokes I have ever heard, and yet it makes me laugh every time I think about it. Who comes up with these things? My friend Erin Cotten says that lots of people aren't famous for their talent, but because they were the first to act on an idea that was crazy enough to become famous. You hear things made up by these people or see things they made and you say to yourself. "Are you serious? I could do that!" But you didn't. So they are famous and you aren't.

I wish I made this joke up, but I didn't. So, I will just have to continue to rely on people who have way too much time on their hands to make up things that will make me laugh.

Friday, June 6, 2008

More Food Service Love (Exotic Style)


This could possibly be my third blog entry about being hit on whilst eating out. When I was in Europe I was hit on more than I have been ever, collectively, in all my 26 years of life. Most of it was when we were in or near food establishments. One of my favorites was at Trevi Fountain in Rome. It had taken the better part of the day to find it, we kept getting lost or distracted. We decided to get some gelato to reward ourselves for finding the fountain. We found ourselves standing in a busy, tourist infested gelato shop and two workers were chatting loudly and quickly across the counter in Italian. The next thing I know, the one who is standing next to me turns to me and says,

You are beautiful.

Thanks

I get off work at 9, come with me for a drink?

I don't think I could find my way back here.

Will you kiss me?

Why not?

(I kissed him on the cheek and he kissed me back, on the cheek)

Come with me for a drink?

I don't drink

You can have something else.

(At this point I am thinking, um, if I don't drink, I probably also won't be sleeping with you. Why are you so persistent? But he was)

He offered his co-worker as a date for Erin, but somehow we found the strength to continue to resists their Italian charms. On the way out of the shop he came back over and asked again. This time he offered me the opportunity to ditch my friend and go with him. Just him and me, and Italy. Tempting, but I stayed strong and lived through yet another fast food flirting experience. At this point I would like to say that I rejected him because it isn't a good idea to run off with gelato men in a foreign country, but it was mostly because he had bad teeth. Honestly, if the guy behind the counter had been the one doing the inviting, I probably would have found my way back to the gelato shop at the Trevi Fountain at 9 o'clock that night.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Jennica Dorsey, World Traveler



I took this picture. That's right, I was standing there, on a bridge in Paris. I still can't believe that I went. I couldn't believe it when I was going, I couldn't believe it when I was there, and now I can't believe that I went. It takes a little bit of steam out of the excitement of the trip when you have a hard time comprehending that you actually went. However, I do remember, rather vividly, being exceedingly tired, and having a marvelous time. Here are some of the highlights:

The British Library. Way too many literary treasures for such a tiny spot.

Tower of London. I don't know why I like to see where people died. I especially liked being in the church where Sir Thomas More is buried.

Platform 9 3/4. Yes, I really am that big of a geek.

Trafalgar Square, the black hole of London. Whenever we got lost, we ended up there. I loved it.

Satan slept in our hostel in London. Some schizophrenic guy was talking in his sleep in the most vulgar, disgusting, debased, violent, and frightening ways. I would have slept on the street but I was too afraid to move.

Double decker buses and black taxi cabs.

A whole parade of soldiers in the classic British Toy Soldier uniform. Loved it.

Italy loved me. I have never had so many guys hit on me. That place is very good for a girl's self-esteem.

We went out to the coast for half a day. It was the most anti-climactic event of the trip. But we had some good laughs.

Old things, they were just so old. (That is for you Erin!)


Gelato. Enough said.

The guards at the Vatican Museum. The most beautiful people I have ever seen.

Treasures. That whole city is full of hidden treasures.

The Colosseum. I don't know why I like to see where people died. But it is one of the 7 wonders.

Rain. It rained the last 3 days we were there.

Paris, city of lights!

We stayed in the most adorable little town just outside of Paris. It was nice to have another view of Paris.

The Champs-Elysees. We went there everyday.

Climbing the steps of the tower in Notre Dame. By far my favorite view of the city, plus I love any opportunity to feel like I am in a Disney movie.

Crepes. Enough said.

Paris Disneyland. Yes, I am that big of a geek.

Lunch at the Eiffel Tower. A dream come true.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

OVERWHELEMD!

Disclaimer: I am well aware that I am most likely going to be hated for posting this. I should just be grateful...but I am SO OVERWHELMED with my Europe trip!

Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely thrilled to go to Europe, but this is not easy stuff. I have been out of the country twice before this. The first time I left this great nation it was to drop by Canada for an evening while I was in Washington. Canada isn't all that foreign. I just followed my brother around and besides a quick stop inside a marijuana bar, I came out relatively unscathed.

The second trip out of the country was an illegal job in Korea. Although illegal, everything (housing, travel, paycheck) was all taken care of by our shifty boss. The only tough part was sneaking out through a monsoon on a Friday morning. My "return to America" stamp is my favorite stamp in my passport.

So, here I am, facing the trip of a lifetime and freaking out just a little bit. I can't do this on my own! Trying to orchestrate hostel plans, travel plans, money plans, and itineraries for 3 countries in 13 days is a little crazy for a little girl like me. What kind of shoes do you wear? It is ok to be Catholic for 2 weeks so you can go to church at the Vatican and Notre Dame? Does my American credit card work abroad? How can you possibly fly comfortably for over 10 hours with legs that are this long? These are serious questions people!

In the end, I think I am going to have a melt down. Then, I will come home and be completely overwhelmed with how absolutely incredible the trip was and I am sure I will have plenty of stories about the millions of mistakes I made and the, no doubt, hilarious results of said mistakes. You have my permission to wait with baited breath.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Where Dreams Come True

I have a dream. I don't think I am an amazing writer by any means, but I do think I have spunk. I can be mildly entertaining, and sometimes I am even downright funny. Add all of this up, put it into a career test and what do you get? "You may want to consider a career as a Columnist."
I want to write for the papers. I want to write something that takes very little effort; outside of living your own life and sharing the lessons you learn from it. Oh, and being witty, clever and charming. I want to be like Carrie on Sex and the City. Only without the sex, and without the city.
Maybe it's not so exciting, but it is definitely more practical. I figure that to achieve this goal I should most likely go back to school, take some writing course, write for hours on end and pound the pavement in search of success OR I can just go the easy route. Thanks to blogging, I have my own little public forum where I can be Jennica, Recruitment Coordinator by day and Fearless, Clever Blogging Columnist by night.
Thanks blogger!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I Am The Cracker Queen

I am The Cracker Queen! I am the conquerer of a game played with saltine crackers. I am not quite sure how I ended up in the midst of such a game, but as fate would have it, I performed amazingly well.

At FHE last night we played a game that involved tying a saltine cracker to your arm and having people try to crush it with some foam pipe insulation. We ran around like maniacs trying to hit each other with the pipe insulation that was about as effective as hitting each other with wet noodles. I was amazing, of course, but I wish I hadn't been because I would have like to spend more time watching people flail around, rather than having people watching me flail around.
Mormons are funny people. Who else plays games where they tie crackers to their arms? This is supposed to bring us together. One night last year at FHE we played "scripture sculpturades". We used clay to sculpt scripture stories. If you ask me, someone has too much time on their hands.

Monday, April 28, 2008

The Upstage is Invincible

So, yesterday I joined the ranks of thousands of Americans who have dropped their cell phones in to the toilet. Don't I just feel special? Luckily, I had just flushed(TMI, I know)so the water was clean. That was a very good thing, because I have never so quickly and unquestionably reached my hand into some where so questionable. I retrieved the phone, dried it off and prayed to the cell-phone Gods that they would spare my phone. It seemed to work just fine. I cleaned it with Lysol (because I don't trust "clean" toilet water) and let it sit. I waited with baited breath to see if it would pop and fizzle and meet it's post-watery grave...
Congratulations Samsung! You have invented and invincible phone. My phone has been where few cell-phones have ever come back from. It would have been tragic to loose it, as I love my phone, so I am very grateful to the pros who made my phone toilet-water-proof. Thanks Samsung!

Monday, April 21, 2008

You want fries with that?

I am moving today, so there is nothing to eat at my house. On my way home from work, I stopped at the local McDonalds and got a whole lot more than what I ordered. I pulled up to the window and handed the fellow at the window my $1.08. This is the verbal exchange that followed the monetary exchange:

"So, what did you do today?"

"Worked too hard."

"Where do you work?"

"UVSC."

"Like you are an employee there?"

"Yup, like I am an employee."

"I bet you meet a lot of cute guys there."

"Yup, most of them are about 17."

"What?!"

"I recruit high school students."

"Oh, yeah. Cool. There is this 17 year old girl who works here and she is like 'Hey, I'm 17 and I have a baby.' There are so many girls here with kids. It's like babies having babies."

"Yup."

"So, where are your kids? You aren't married are you?"

I just stared back at him. At this point, the fates took pity on me and intervened; the car behind me honked. I smiled and put my car right into gear and drove on. I don't know what it is about getting hit on at food places, but I decided that I am only going to eat at fancy places from now on. Then maybe the guys who hit on me will be a bit more classy. No more fast food goons for me.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Book Tag

So, Erin was kind enough to include me in her book tag. This is possibly the most boring 5th sentance on the face of the planet. Just try and beat this:

This is what you do:
1. Pick up the nearest book (at least 123 pages).
2. Turn to page 123.
3. Find the 5th sentence
4. Post the 5th sentence on your blog.

Book: Systems of Psychotherapy: A Transtheoretical Analysis

5th sentence: Psychotherapies may be adequate for resolving discrete psychological disorders and mental conflicts, such as those between drives and defenses, but a relevant modern therapy must also be a philosophical therapy - a therapy of meaning for those confronted with the existential frustration of being unable to find a "why to live for."

Enjoy!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Warriors at Bajio

Work is s-l-o-w right now. There is hardly anyone in the office today, so it seemed like a perfect time to go out for lunch. We decided on Bajio. Those Bajio salads were calling our names. The restaurant was pretty empty, and we got through the line rather quickly. As I was finishing up at the register Hali came up to me and said, "There are some pretty cute boys by the door on the right side. They were looking over here. Let's go out that way."

Cute boys? Yes, please. We started walking that direction and soon I realized that I don't think we could have avoided these boys even if we had wanted to.

"So, did you find everything you were looking for?"

Um, duh? I am at a restaurant, I found food. It's not that hard.

"Yes, we sure did."
"Good. So, let me guess, you ladies work retail."

Whoa. Strike two. Believe it or not, I am not on break from my job at the mall. I have a big kid job.

"No."
"You are in sales, then."
"More or less. We sell education. We recruit for UVSC."

We all chatted for a minute, they hadn't hit strike three yet, they still had a chance. Turns out one is from Emery and the other is from Sandy and attends dear old UVSC. After several minutes of talking I decided that there was no sign of these boys aking for our names. Someone had to do it.

"Do you have names?" I asked.
It just seemed a bit asinine that we had gotten this far into being picked up on and they hadn't asked for our names. The first one (from Sandy) said that he was Dan the Warrior. If that doesn't turn a girl on, I don't know what would. Gracious. I only half heard the other one, I think he said his name was Titan. It was actually Sam. At one point Dan said that sometimes it was awkward talking to girls. Really? I never would have guessed.

Well, Dan's phone rang and he decided it would be fun to put one of us on the phone. Hali was busy because Sam was giving her his "warrior autograph", so I got the phone.

"So, you are talking to my friend Dan?"
"Yup."
"Is he scaring you?"
"It takes a lot to scare me. I am feeling pretty brave right now."
"He doesn't scare you? You should give him your phone number."

At about the same time that Rich was telling me to give Dan my number, Sam was slipping his number to Hali.

Strike three. These goons really thought that if they just stopped us on our way out of the restaurant we would swoon and take their numbers and give them a call? The never even asked for a names! This is a sad world, friends. A sad, sad, world.


But, in their defense, they say that they were awkward. And, at least they stopped us in the first place. In the end, I have to admit, it was a bit of a boost to my confidence. So, I guess I can't really complain.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Bowling, us???


Tonight I had big plans to go see American Fork High School's production of Les Miserables with my family. I was going to go with my mom, brother and little sister, but when we got there the show was sold out. Never in my life have I seen a high school show sell out. I guess I should be glad that the community is so supportive, but it left me with 3 family members and nothing to do. So, we needed some plans , stat. I suggested the movies, I was dead tired. Mom suggested bowling. Bowling? Never in the course of my entire memory could I find even the tiniest suggestion that our family had ever even thought of going bowling together. The idea did not sit well. But, bowl we did, and we had a wonderful time. Turns out my mom is a champion bowler, something about a bowling class at BYU in the mid 70s. Personally, all the credit for my bowling skills go to the nintendo wii. Thanks to Val and Jim for letting me practice and not look a complete fool in front of my family! And thanks to the father of four next to us that cheered for us whenever we were lucky enough to bowl a strike.