Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Still alive. Almost there.

This last week has been...intense.

Incredibly intense.

I have been existing in three places; my couch, a cubicle at school, and my bed. My finals are giving it their all to try and defeat me and my computer has recently decided to turn off every now and again just for fun. Yikes.

However! In the midst of all of this I have managed to squeeze in an adventure or two. I don't want to miss out on sharing them, and I would love to include all of the epic details here, but I should be working on my stats final right now, so I am just going to post a picture or two and call it good.

Adventure 1

Friday was our MPA closing social. We had a very exciting (albeit incredibly long) murder mystery dinner. I would like to say here and now that I guess every detail of the crime. Maybe I should quit public service and go into criminal investigation. Speaking of leaving public service, it is very possible that I won the most INCREDIBLE award ever at this closing social. At the end of the night they gave away a couple of superlative awards and I won:

*drum roll please*

Most likely to leave public service and become a stand-up comedian!

I was very happy. Not that I would rather be making people laugh than be working countless hours on my stats and accounting finals...but I would rather be out making people laugh.
Adventure 2

On Saturday Camilla and I decided to take on the Salt Lake Marathon after all. We both "trained" for the half-marathon and we both got injured in the process. However, we were not to be defeated. Camilla ran the half and I had to settle for the 5k. She was a rock star. I was just glad to be out and running again. I went out for a run the day before and it was the first time I had run in 5 WEEKS. But I am back in the game folks. Or I will be, once finals are over...

Anyway, tomorrow is stats day. Pray for me.

No really, pray for me. Please.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Getting Down the Mountain

A couple of months ago I went snowboarding with some friends. I had only been snowboarding once before, and was nervous and excited to try it again. You see, it had been about 4 years since I had been and I was a little worried about getting back on a snowboard after all that time. So when I told my friends that I had been only once before I thought that communicated how inexperienced I was, but somehow the only thing that translated to the group that I was with was "I have been snowboarding before". So, after getting suited up, surviving the chair lift, and scooting to the top of the run, I found myself alone *gasp* at the top of the mountain....um, bunny hill...whatever.

My friends weren't very far away, but I was alone. And I didn't know what I was doing. I sat by myself in the snow, not daring to stand up because I knew I would fall. Somewhere inside I knew that I had already done this, that I was capable, that I could make it down this mountain, but I just couldn't remember how. The danger seemed too great - whether the injury was to my body or my pride, I didn't think I could take it.

Well, one of our crew eventually noticed that I was sitting paralyzed at the top of the mountain and hopped back over to me to find out what was going on. I almost started crying. I knew how ridiculous I was being, but this seemed so insurmountable on my own. He smiled and told me I was being silly, that I was more than capable, and then reminded me of the simple things I had forgotten that would get me down in one piece. I took heart, dried my frozen tears, and took off down the mountain.

After about 3.5 seconds I face planted in the snow.

My pride was mortally wounded, but I was not. So I picked myself back up, and took off again, leaving my wounded pride behind me. (This was a very good idea and I tumbled down the mountain for most of that run) But by time I got the bottom of that mountain...um...hill, I was feeling pretty good. I did it. I survived! I went back for more!

Do you see where I am going with this?

School is almost over, but this bunny hill of finals seems like an awfully big mountain right now. I am sitting here at the top of this mountain and once again I am paralyzed. I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can complete everything that is required of me. I am scared. I know I shouldn't be, I know that I am capable, but it is just tough to shake.

But you know what? I am going to try. I have already face planted a couple of times, so there is no reason to worry about pride. I just need to keep getting up when I fall and enjoy those incredible moments when everything is as it should be. I just need to enjoy the ride. I can't wait to get to the bottom and realize that I did it - that I survived.

Another 2 weeks and I will wonder what I was so worked up about. I am really looking forward to seeing the bottom of this hill.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

So close, and yet so very far away...

"For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it." -Romans 8:24,25

School is almost done. School is almost done. School is almost done.

I have no summer job or internship.

I have no plans.

And I am ok with that. I am scared, but I am ok. I has been a crazy year, full of difficulty and incredible adventures. It has been tough, but I have felt blessed and watched over every step of the way. I am not always grateful for the unknown, but I am grateful to know that nothing is unknown to the Lord, and I am glad that I can trust in him.