It could always be worse...

Feeling blue? Thinking that no one could be worse off than you? Well, read on my friend, and (unless you are actually one of the people mentioned below) give yourself a pat on the back for not being cited in The Daily Universe Police Beat.

The first entry is the WINNER. Yup, winner, winner chicken dinner. I hope she never lives this one down:

"A female resident of Wymount Terrace called in a suspicious phone call in which a man made statements with the intent of hypnotizing the student. The student said she does not remember most of the conversation, but remembers she called him her master. Police say it is virtually impossible to hypnotize someone over the phone."

Maybe I will try to hypnotize you over my blog.

Do you feel prone to do my bidding?? Do you want to call me master??

The rest are bonus. Happy reading.

Sept. 30: Female students in Helaman Halls complained about a man in a gorilla suit attempting to scare students near the Cannon Center. When police arrived, there was no sign of either the complainant or the gorilla. Students complained again early Oct. 3 about a man in a gorilla mask. The gorilla has not yet been identified.

Oct. 8: Police received a call reporting a masked female near the Harris Fine Arts Center who was scaring individuals.

Oct. 9: A BYU Bookstore employee reported a male student who stole a 50-cent candy bar. Police issued a misdemeanor citation for retail theft.

Oct. 11: A person riding a motor scooter hit a female student in the crosswalk at 450 East and 1430 North. She was on her way to the football game. The student was checked by the paramedics at the scene and released.

Oct. 11: A 27-year-old former BYU student was causing a disturbance at the football game by spitting on people. He was arrested and escorted from the stadium after refusing to comply with police orders, detained and released, but banned from the university for 72 hours. No charges were found.