Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Cure for the Common Cold

There may not be a cure for the common cold, but I am bound and determined to beat this illness down. I am taking matters into my own hands. With some orange juice and some orange dayquil I had better be better soon. If not, I am suing dayquil and every orange grove form California to Florida. This is all I have consumed today. I am not sure if that is a good thing, but that doesn't really matter.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

The Chicken Lady

The other night I was chatting with my good friend Erin about the deplorable state of the dating world. This week for FHE, our ward did speed dating. They said we were doing it because on Sunday the Bishop said that if guys aren't going on "x" amounts of dates, they should repent. I am pretty sure FHE was a mass repenting session.

Anyway, at the end of the night I decided that it was good to make new friends, but maybe I should just settle in and get comfortable with my currently single status.

Maybe I could get a cat and be one of those crazy cat ladies.

I said to Erin, "Maybe I will go to the Walmart parking lot and get a free kitten."

"A Chicken?"

"No, a KITTEN! Why would I get a free chicken?"

Such was the birth of the Chicken Lady.

I could just buy a chicken (or maybe stealing one would be more appropriate?). Ok, I could acquire a chicken and it would become my constant companion. It would follow me everywhere I went, but we would never leave the house. It would sleep in my bed, on a pillow, right next to me. And my chicken would cluck encouragingly when I was feeling down. A Chicken Lady can always trust her chicken to cheer her up. Oh, and my chicken would protect me if anyone tried to trespass on my property. Can you think of anything more intimidating than a crazed chicken coming at you, feathers flying everywhere?

It is just a good idea. I give myself 10 more years, then I am buying a chicken.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I'm With The Band

I went to two different concerts in August. Interestingly enough, they were both at the same venue and both headlined guys named Joshua. The universe turned out to be even more interesting when one of those Joshua guys came and played a concert at UVU during welcome week. 3 Joshua concerts.

At this point you may be thinking, "My, what a lucky girl Jennica is. So many Joshuas in such a short amount of time." I would agree with you, but I would say that it is not the Joshuas that make me lucky. It is their bassists.

Somehow, I have some kind of crazy connection with the bassists for both Joshuas. Please see exhibits A and B below:

exhibit A:

This is me being very buddy buddy with Joshua Radin's bassist

exhibit B:

This is Joshua James' bassist being very buddy buddy with me!

Seriously, I was taking pictures of the even for our office and the bassist kept looking at the camera. I would say that he just liked getting his picture taken, but check out the look on his face. Like I said - buddy buddy.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


To my Native American Lit. Teacher:

Dear Native American Lit. Teacher,

I know that we don't know each other well, but I have something very personal that I need to tell you. Wearing a bra is a good thing. There. I said it. On the first day of class I heard very little of what you said. There was something about a syllabus, something about NDNZ and something about how, after years of educational torture, you would prefer to be addressed by the name you had earned: Doctor. However, most of the time I was staring at your chest. Now, being a girl, it is hard to admit this, but it is the honest truth. I was staring at your chest and thinking, "Are those...no, they can't be...is she...honestly?...nope, my teacher is definitely not wearing a bra."

Now, I would like to say that I am very impressed with you for getting your education and breaking the bonds of masculine suppression, but a bra is not meant to suppress. It is meant to support. A bra should be a best friend, not an undesirable stranger.

I understand that things may have been different 30 or 40 years ago when bra burning was a big thing. I see that you made (and are still making)your statement, "Girl Power! Votes for Women!" I am sure the Spice Girls would be proud. But that was 30 or 40 years go, the statement has been made and the point has become moot. This generation does not look at braless women and think, "Wow, she is a real revolutionary." They are thinking, "Holy crap, I can see her nipples." So, please, for our sake, share your story and teach your ideals, but spare us, and buy a bra.

Thank you,

A concerned student

To the boy who works in the bookstore:

Dear Boy Who Works at the Bookstore,

Hey, what's up? It's been a while. We had Spanish together, what, like 3 years ago? Crazy. Well, it's good to see you again. You know, it's funny, we see each other a couple of times every 6 months or so and we act like we are the best of friends. Maybe we should just humor fate and be real friends. No more acting like friends. Then we don't have to run into randomly run into each other anymore, we can purposely run into each other. Yes?

Tu amiga,


To the man who killed chivalry:

Dear Sir,

How does it feel? Seriously, can you sleep at night, knowing that you singlehandedly killed chivalry? Today I was lifting some boxes that were much too heavy for me to lift. You were sitting about 15 feet away while I was lifting these heavy boxes. They were so heavy in fact, that I thought I would drop it on my head and it would squish me like a cartoon character and I would have to walk around for the rest of my life as a smashed little disk of Jennica. This was not a pleasant thought. I was with two of my co-workers who are also female(one of whom is smaller than the boxes that we were lifting)and we were obviously having difficulty. Yet, there you sat. As I laughed with my co-workers about the absurdity of the situation I thought about you sitting just around the corner. What were you thinking? Were you thinking, "Too bad those girls aren't very strong?" or "I'm sure glad it isn't my job to help people." or maybe you just thought it was amusing. Either way friend, the proper response would have been, "Excuse me, you seem to be having a bit of trouble lifting those boxes that weigh twice as much as you do. May I be of assistance?" At this point we all would have lauded your strength and manhood. Really, we would have. Instead we just stared at you as we left, wondering what was going through your head. I mean, maybe it was a bit harsh when I said that you killed chivalry, but what is this world coming to?

I eagerly await your response,

A damsel in distress who fights her own dragons because there are no knights to be found, and just because she can, and she can.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Creativity - as defined by me for my brand spankin' new Creative Writing class

Creativity - Creation - Creator

Creativity is something that is manufactured on an individual, physiological basis. It is a force that is conceived and cultivated deep within our selves. It bubbles within us, waiting to take form, driving us to create. If creativity is not cultivated it will go into remission. It must have an outlet to thrive. It may be inspired by imitation but, because no two people are alike, individual creations will have inherent differences. I believe we are all have the capacity to be creators, if we will allow it.