Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Yup, I was going to jet to Thailand for a week. Just a little last minute vacay, half-way around the world. But, the trip is off. All weekend I had an uncomfortable feeling about the trip. When I told my family about going, when I researched things to do on the internet, and when I told my boss that I would need a week off, I didn't feel like things would work out. Every time that I told someone about it I had a really hard time getting excited. It seemed so strange! Who doesn't get excited about a free trip to Thailand?! The plane ticket was purchased on Sunday and upgraded on Monday. How could it not work out? And yet, I still had that uncomfortable feeling. I talked to my sister about it and finally said out loud that I felt like maybe I shouldn't go. Then I knew, that uncomfortable feeling had been the spirit. Oh well, it looks like I will be going to Asia soon anyway because...I got accepted to grad school! They only accepted about a third of the applicants (usually they take half), so I pretty much feel like a rock star! I will start the program with a six week course in China this summer and then I will begin full-time in the fall at BYU. I am a lot excited and a lot scared to death. I am going to quit my job, leave my comfort zone, take out zillions of dollars in student loans, and I am going to conquer grad school. I am going to be the first kid in my family to go and I can't wait! I did it!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
I went for a walk with my roomie today. We like to pretend that Spring is here, and so we walked in the sunshine until our ears froze and we could no longer sustain the fantasy of Spring. We waxed brilliant as we talked about some of life's challenges and how our approach to them can change their nature entirely. We talked mostly about attitude and complaining. Here I will tell you that HRH is pretty much brilliant. Besides being a therapist and roommate-extraordinaire, she is on a quest for self-mastery. (Personally, I prefer to sweep my weaknesses under the carpet and pretend that they don't exist.) HRH however, is facing the world head on and making an honest effort to constantly improve herself. Her two nemeses as of late are sugar and complaining. She is taking them both on valiantly. I don't agree at all with abstinence from sugar. It makes me a horrid and disagreeable person. Hence, said abstinence should never be attempted for long periods of time. Complaining, however, would be a worthy adversary. I am a first rate complainer. I can complain, criticize about anything. The best part is, that I am very good about rationalizing my complaining away, so I never have to feel bad about it. However, the more I talked to Megan, the more I realized just how much of a negative impact my complaining is probably having on me. Seriously. Why do I complain? a. I haven't gotten my way b. someone has something that I want c. to support someone else by taking sides d. to show how much better I am than the stupid people I am complaining about. Ouch. Complaining is a very "me" focused activity. Although I believe I am awfully funny and witty when I complain, it brings a negativity that I would rather not have around. So here I go. I am going to try to curb my complaining. What are you trying to leave behind? How is it going?