The other night I was chatting with my good friend Erin about the deplorable state of the dating world. This week for FHE, our ward did speed dating. They said we were doing it because on Sunday the Bishop said that if guys aren't going on "x" amounts of dates, they should repent. I am pretty sure FHE was a mass repenting session.
Anyway, at the end of the night I decided that it was good to make new friends, but maybe I should just settle in and get comfortable with my currently single status.
Maybe I could get a cat and be one of those crazy cat ladies.
I said to Erin, "Maybe I will go to the Walmart parking lot and get a free kitten."
"A Chicken?"
"No, a KITTEN! Why would I get a free chicken?"
Such was the birth of the Chicken Lady.
I could just buy a chicken (or maybe stealing one would be more appropriate?). Ok, I could acquire a chicken and it would become my constant companion. It would follow me everywhere I went, but we would never leave the house. It would sleep in my bed, on a pillow, right next to me. And my chicken would cluck encouragingly when I was feeling down. A Chicken Lady can always trust her chicken to cheer her up. Oh, and my chicken would protect me if anyone tried to trespass on my property. Can you think of anything more intimidating than a crazed chicken coming at you, feathers flying everywhere?
It is just a good idea. I give myself 10 more years, then I am buying a chicken.
Anyway, at the end of the night I decided that it was good to make new friends, but maybe I should just settle in and get comfortable with my currently single status.
Maybe I could get a cat and be one of those crazy cat ladies.
I said to Erin, "Maybe I will go to the Walmart parking lot and get a free kitten."
"A Chicken?"
"No, a KITTEN! Why would I get a free chicken?"
Such was the birth of the Chicken Lady.
I could just buy a chicken (or maybe stealing one would be more appropriate?). Ok, I could acquire a chicken and it would become my constant companion. It would follow me everywhere I went, but we would never leave the house. It would sleep in my bed, on a pillow, right next to me. And my chicken would cluck encouragingly when I was feeling down. A Chicken Lady can always trust her chicken to cheer her up. Oh, and my chicken would protect me if anyone tried to trespass on my property. Can you think of anything more intimidating than a crazed chicken coming at you, feathers flying everywhere?
It is just a good idea. I give myself 10 more years, then I am buying a chicken.
3 comments:
: ) That post makes me happy.
But you know crazy cat lady status is usually achieved by multiple cats-I'd say at least three. So you'll probably need to invest in multiple chickens eventually. And you'll need to talk about your chickens a lot, as if they are people. That ups the crazy chicken lady status too.
Oddly enough we bought little chicken hat costumes for our cats for this Halloween ... Does that mean we are banking to be both crazy cat people and crazy chicken people?
Jennica, I freakin love you. You won't have to become a "chicken lady" but if you did, I would still think you were cool. That was the funniest blog post I've read in forever. You get a gold star...
Awww! I live with a chicken lady who gets a gold star from Julianne. Wow! How lucky am I?!?
:)
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