The Only Thing Constant is Change

So, when I posted about my chucks I mentioned that last week was a little difficult – and it was. Times are a-changin’ and not in a very small way. Being the introspective, overly-analytic, intensely self-aware person that I am, I have taken a lot of time to think about all of this. I would like to share a few of those thoughts:

First, a disclaimer:

Over the last few months and especially the last few weeks, I have never felt more loved and supported by those around me. (Here is a special shout out for kidnapping me and taking me for a drive in the canyon, chicken and crystal light, and two really big valentine cupcakes.)

That being said, I have felt an incredible weight settle on me in the last week. It is not a weight of sadness, a weight of self-pity or of fear.

It is simply the weight of change.

I have the strongest feeling that things in my life are shifting and evolving in a way that will completely change my world as I know it. It is a little bit frightening, but I think that the Lord is making room for something new in my life - out with the old and in with the new.

Something is going to change.

I think I know what that something is.

I think that something is me.

I think that there is room being made in my life for me. Room is being made for who I am meant to be. (Believe it or not, I am not quite there yet.) There is still so much room to grow and the time for growth is now.

That is an exciting prospect, but it is also a painful one. It will mean pushing myself further than I ever have before, stepping out of comfort zones and into the unknown. It will be hard. It will be lonely. There are somethings that you just have to do on your own. They say that it is difficult to try to be someone you are not. I would submit that it is perhaps more difficult to be who you are – but, of course, it is infinitely more rewarding.

In his talk “Pathways to Perfection” President Thomas S. Monson said, “Some foolish persons turn their backs on the wisdom of God and follow the allurement of fickle fashion, the attraction of false popularity, and the thrill of the moment. Courage is required to think right, choose right, and do right, for such a course will rarely, if ever, be the easiest to follow.

The battle for self-discipline may leave you a bit bruised and battered but always a better person. Self-discipline is a rigorous process at best; too many of us want it to be effortless and painless. Should temporary setbacks afflict us, a very significant part of our struggle for self-discipline is the determination and the courage to try again.”

I have no doubt that one of the main purposes of life is to improve ourselves, to wear away the rough edges and discover who we are inherently as children of God. Wearing away rough edges is often just as uncomfortable as it seems, but that is as it should be. It is all a part of the process. If we can truly embrace change in all of it’s painful, awkward, destructive and then creative glory, we will find that we can be more than we ever dreamed possible.

So, here we go. The prize is worth the price. I may be far from perfect (and far is the understatement of the century, I am sure) but I am nothing if not a fighter. Let’s bring it on. I am a little nervous to be sure, but I am looking forward to the change. I am looking forward to this new adventure.