Getting Down the Mountain

A couple of months ago I went snowboarding with some friends. I had only been snowboarding once before, and was nervous and excited to try it again. You see, it had been about 4 years since I had been and I was a little worried about getting back on a snowboard after all that time. So when I told my friends that I had been only once before I thought that communicated how inexperienced I was, but somehow the only thing that translated to the group that I was with was "I have been snowboarding before". So, after getting suited up, surviving the chair lift, and scooting to the top of the run, I found myself alone *gasp* at the top of the mountain....um, bunny hill...whatever.

My friends weren't very far away, but I was alone. And I didn't know what I was doing. I sat by myself in the snow, not daring to stand up because I knew I would fall. Somewhere inside I knew that I had already done this, that I was capable, that I could make it down this mountain, but I just couldn't remember how. The danger seemed too great - whether the injury was to my body or my pride, I didn't think I could take it.

Well, one of our crew eventually noticed that I was sitting paralyzed at the top of the mountain and hopped back over to me to find out what was going on. I almost started crying. I knew how ridiculous I was being, but this seemed so insurmountable on my own. He smiled and told me I was being silly, that I was more than capable, and then reminded me of the simple things I had forgotten that would get me down in one piece. I took heart, dried my frozen tears, and took off down the mountain.

After about 3.5 seconds I face planted in the snow.

My pride was mortally wounded, but I was not. So I picked myself back up, and took off again, leaving my wounded pride behind me. (This was a very good idea and I tumbled down the mountain for most of that run) But by time I got the bottom of that mountain...um...hill, I was feeling pretty good. I did it. I survived! I went back for more!

Do you see where I am going with this?

School is almost over, but this bunny hill of finals seems like an awfully big mountain right now. I am sitting here at the top of this mountain and once again I am paralyzed. I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can complete everything that is required of me. I am scared. I know I shouldn't be, I know that I am capable, but it is just tough to shake.

But you know what? I am going to try. I have already face planted a couple of times, so there is no reason to worry about pride. I just need to keep getting up when I fall and enjoy those incredible moments when everything is as it should be. I just need to enjoy the ride. I can't wait to get to the bottom and realize that I did it - that I survived.

Another 2 weeks and I will wonder what I was so worked up about. I am really looking forward to seeing the bottom of this hill.