To be, or not to be?

School is starting again and the halls are filling with bright-eyed students. They are buying books, getting ID cards and standing in long lines that they could have bypassed if they had stopped by a week ago. I won't lie, it shocks me every Fall when the students come back. It's like somehow the slow summer months and empty halls cause me to forget that, as a university, our primary goal is to educate students. But every fall they return, and the familiar "back-to-school energy" hangs tangibly in the air. This year I am starting to feel envious of the kids with their new backpacks, pens and notebooks. So, I have decided that this semester I am going to take advantage of the free tuition benefits that I receive as an employee of Utah Valley University and sign up for a class as a super-super senior. I signed up for a creative writing class. It is something that I would have loved to do the first time around in school, but I never really took the time. Also, my dear friend Erin keeps insisting that I write a memoir, maybe this will help. I figure that if nothing else, perhaps I will be able to write a more amusing blog entry by the end of the semester.

However, this one little class has gotten me thinking. When I was trying to decide what to study in college my choices came down to Psychology and English. I am no good at grammar, so Psychology won out. But now, I am not so afraid of grammar and I have a chance to go back. So dear friends, here is the question: To be, or not to be? Do I gather my courage and go back for another Bachelors degree? I am afraid that a Bachelors in English would be about as profitable as a Bachelors in Psychology, but I would be chasing a dream. I think it may be worth it just for that.

Lessons in Hope

First things first, I don't know if anyone looks at this blog anymore because it hasn't been updated since the dawn of time. For that, I apologize. My excuse? Life has been crazy. Honestly, there is no other way to describe it. Oh, and I moved(part of the afore mentioned "crazy") and we don't have the internet at our apartment yet, making it more than a little difficult to blog with any kind of constancy. Hopefully we will soon be able to join modern civilization and get ourselves on-line.

On to the matter at hand, with a new apartment comes a new ward. I think that many of you are familiar with my ward, it was featured in the movie "The Singles Ward." I don't know how else to describe what happened recently at church other than to say that I was, for 3 hours, transported out of reality and into a Singles Ward Twilight Zone.

First, in Relief Society our teacher shared with us her desperation to get married(next month)and to start her family so that she can help to build Zion. She talked about how difficult it is for all of us to wait, wait, wait to get married and start families and how frustrating it can be to not yet be able to assist in building Zion. We need to patient, like the early pioneers were patient. Apparently we are all worthless in the church until the happy day arrives that we find our "other half"; the half that allows us to begin to lend a hand to build the kingdom. Our poor relief society president tried to regulate, but this sweet spirit was determined to express her sympathy to the rest of us single souls.

Fate could not have been paired with circumstance more perfectly than it was at the end of the lesson. Our RSP got up and announced that the Bishop had ordered a copy of the August Ensign for each member of the ward. Single and Steadfast: Lessons in Hope. I almost died. Lessons in hope? For every member of the ward?

Now, I am grateful to the Bishop. I mean we are all single, so why not get us a copy of the Special Singles Edition of the Ensign? I guess it is like when your kid is in the paper and you buy up every copy you can find. It was a nice gesture. However, I, like many other singles that I know, resent the implication that I need lessons in hope! Contrary to an obviously popular belief, I am sure that I can be a worthwhile citizen in my community and in the kingdom of God whether I am married or sans eternal companion. I have been rather productive for the last 26 years, I graduated high school, college, served a mission, served in church callings, and I did it all by my very own single self.

So, I guess what I would like to say is, thanks but no thanks. I am not like the examples of the 29 year old prone to depression or the 26 year old who wonders if he is marriage material. I don't cry every night that prince charming hasn't come to snatch me up and I don't resent his absence. I am in no way handicapped because I am single. I can still contribute, I still have a testimony and I don't need to be told that everything will work out. Maybe it won't. I am ok with that. I know who I am and I know God's plan. I trust in His timing and I will do my best to work on myself and serve those around me until the blessed day arrives and prince charming does sweep me off me feet. But you know what I am going to do when that day arrives? I am going to continue to go to church, work on myself and serve those around me. So maybe we can save our sympathy and condolences for those who are facing real tragedies.